She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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