I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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