11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize