you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
