I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
