im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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