Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
we should paint friendship bongs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
