Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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