But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize