I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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