Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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