Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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