your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
