I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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