You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
