so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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