The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't deserve a penis
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
