my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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