woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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