Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
