4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
