drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
