Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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