Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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