i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
