is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
