why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
