Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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