my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
