i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
