I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
