I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
