so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
