And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
