I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
