If that was your dad, he is hot
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i now understand why vodka
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
