its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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