Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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