I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
