STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
