Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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