ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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