the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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