Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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