her vagine was all disorganized.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I AM VODKA MAN
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
