I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
