I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
