Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
