SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
