Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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