You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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