I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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