I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Boobs speak an international language.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
