If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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