Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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