i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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