Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
