if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
