I wanna passion pit in your ass
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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