So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
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you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
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DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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