Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize